Hair Myths that Never Fit
Introducing our new hair expert—and some truth bombs from Bomi
Hello, Gorgeous!
I’m more than a bit excited to introduce you to our new hair expert: Bomi Kim, Assistant Creative Director at Sassoon salon in NYC. Bomi will be answering your hair questions, sharing hair trends and more.
For the past few years I’ve been marveling at the way Bomi cuts hair in a way that seems almost architectural. In fact, I’ll go so far as to say I’ve known my sister Kiki a pretty long time and have never seen her sleek black bob look better.
This time around Bomi will address and in some cases debunk some of the hair myths directed at women 40+
Hair myths directed at women 40+
On trends like The Rachel: “I think trends are really great to influence people’s creativity, but I don’t believe everyone should follow them. People should do what’s best for them—and if that trend accentuates their beauty, go for it.” So if you see a style you love, feel free to try it out. You don’t have to wear it forever!
The myth that women shouldn’t have long hair after 40: Bomi is totally against that rule. “The typical reasoning is that hair tends to thin as we age, so long hair looks more sparse. But if you’re over 40, 50, 60 and you have healthy hair—grow it out. Hair is timeless. Ageless. You just have to have a style that works for you. I would love the beauty industry to grow out of those tropes.” Long hair club, anyone?
Going lighter after 40: You may be surprised to know that Bomi believes in this one, but maybe not for the reasons you’d think. “As we age, we develop lines on our face. When light hits those creases, shadows form—and dark hair only accentuates that.” Going lighter helps distract the eye. She doesn’t mean extreme lightness, “just lighter than your current color. The lighter it is, the less harsh it looks against the skin.”
On boxed color: We often hear that boxed color is a terrible idea for your hair. Bomi is inclined to agree, and she explains why. “Boxed color needs to be compatible with many textures and colors, so the ingredients are much harsher, no matter how gentle they claim to be.” And if you’ve been using dark boxed color and try to go lighter? “That can absolutely damage your hair. Go to the wrong colorist or use the wrong boxed color, and your hair can literally melt off.” That doesn’t mean you must go pro, but “if you have the means to invest in yourself, go to a salon. Your hair will be healthier, shinier, and more manageable.”
The myth that women with thinning hair or post-treatment hair can’t do anything: “That’s absolutely a myth! There’s plenty you can do. Shorter hair is stronger—it appears thicker and has more volume. You can also talk to your doctor about treatments that enhance growth.”
On special occasion hair: Do you have to create something braided, twisted, or complicated for an event? “You want it to be outside your norm, but it doesn’t have to look like a royal wedding. Something different from your everyday look is expected. But some women just want to feel like themselves, and that’s okay too. There’s no special rule for how you should present yourself other than looking great.” How’s that for a confidence boost?
How often should you wash your hair? “It’s different for every hair type and style, but generally, the less you wash, the better. Your natural oils are there to nourish—washing them away leaves hair looking and feeling dry. If you have oily hair, wash daily.” But here’s a more concrete rule: “If you have color, a perm, or keratin treatment, those chemicals dry the hair strand out, so the oil at your roots actually helps nourish it. Every other day at minimum, but adjust for your texture and lifestyle.”
The gym dilemma: “A lot of women tell me they work out every day.” Bomi’s remedy: “Wash your hair using just conditioner. Rinse it really well, and that should hold you for the next 24 hours. And for those with dry ends—use a little shampoo at the scalp only. Don’t rub it down the hair shaft.”
On brushing: Remember those myths growing up, that you had to brush your hair 100 times a day? Bomi agrees with this one. “Brushing is great for your hair. It adds shine, detangles, and if you brush your scalp, it promotes blood circulation. I recommend using a boar bristle brush for shine—just like Marcia Brady did. Brushing also helps spread those natural oils. Pro tip: brush it out before you wash, so all that oil gets absorbed into the shaft.”
“I recommend using a boar bristle brush for shine—just like Marcia Brady did.”
—Bomi Kim
Do essential oils actually work? I can’t tell you how many times I see women on my socials discussing which essential oils to use for hair care. Guess what? Bomi thinks they might be a great idea. “Certain oils are clinically proven to help—castor oil, rosemary oil—they do promote hair growth. A lot of cancer survivors use them on their eyelashes. But consistent use is necessary, and it takes time: at least 6 to 12 months to see results. Hair may not come back to its former fullness, but growth will happen. It’s a continual process.”
Bomi’s philosophy in one line: “I believe that hair is everything. It can make or break a face.”
Got a hair question for Bomi? Drop it in the comments and we might feature it in a future column!
Rachel, Your beauty concierge 💋
I have a hair brushing question. Curly girls have been told (at least in the past, I don't keep up with these things) not to comb our hair at all. I usually just run my fingers through mine, scrunch, and go. Should I be brushing my hair or not?
I cover my hair in public (religious, married) but my hair is still really important to me. My hair stylist finally told me to get a keratin treatment to tame what used to be solidly flat hair but over time and with wearing hats became too poofy, unless I blow dried it, which I don't have the patience to do. It's been a tremendous game changer. My hair looks amazing (if I say so myself!) without any effort. Of course, my stylist cuts it just so. . . this was a great post.