Happy Birthday to Me!

Boba, pastries, and the art of farginning for yourself

Hello, Gorgeous!

Today’s my birthday.

I keep thinking about what to treat myself to, and frankly? I don’t feel like I need anything right now.

And no, this isn’t a #blessed humblebrag. I mean, I need a winter coat. That doesn’t feel like a treat, though. I just feel fortunate to have finally learned to appreciate what I have—without letting what’s still missing ruin my ability to enjoy the moment. I’ve also learned to treat myself and to treat myself well, without waiting for someone else to do it. Incidentally, the treats don’t have to involve many karats and high price tags. Today it’s about indulging in nostalgia and even a little treats in the form of a Milk Chocolate Ring Pop (because everyone knows there are no calories on your birthday and you really don’t have to wait for someone to put a ring on it).

There’s a Yiddish word I love: fargin. It means to wholeheartedly celebrate someone else’s joy or success, without envy, without diminishment. Just pure happiness for them. (It became so popular in Israel that it’s become standard in modern Hebrew as firgun.) We’re so good at farginning for the people we love. But can we fargin for ourselves? Can we live with “I’m good” without immediately adding a “but”?

Today I’m trying.

Ask anyone in my life and they’ll tell you: my great joy is giving gifts. Finding the perfect thing for someone else, the thing they didn’t know they needed, the thing that makes their face do that thing, that’s what makes me happy. It’s not because I have to spend time or money doing it, it’s because I care about someone enough to know the treat they need right now.

As for me? Right now I’m sipping on some bubble tea and later I’m meeting my sister at the schmancy new French patisserie that miraculously opened up in my decidedly unchic neighborhood.

So I have a question for you: How do you spend your birthday? And what do you treat yourself to? Let’s meet in the comment section to discuss!

Rachel, Your beauty concierge 💋 +🧋🍓🎂💍🎶

And I can listen to Bizarre Love Triangle as many times in a row as I want to!