Reader Question: Who Decides What He Does With His Hair?

To comb over or not to comb over, that is the question.

Hello, Gorgeous!

Today’s newsletter might spark an interesting conversation. I sure hope so, since I’m curious what you think.

I recently received a message that gave me pause. See below, and shared with permission and edited slightly for flow:

Hi Rachel,

I’m not even sure how I found your newsletter but I did and subscribed. I like it, especially the skincare stuff. I have a question for you. I’m a 52-year-old dude. I probably started going bald in my 30s and I’ve made my peace with it, but my wife has not. She can’t handle the fact that we’re middle aged and she insists I keep my comb over. I know it doesn’t look good but it makes her happy, but I can see people giving me the side-eye on Zoom and in person. What should I do?

Sam

I generally accept everyone’s personal style and live by the belief that if it makes him feel good, my opinion doesn’t matter. But he asked for my opinion, which is why I’m weighing in here.

Sam’s comb over struggle really got me thinking about the balance between building your confidence while honoring your partner’s preferences. On the one hand, I totally get wanting to make your spouse happy. On the other hand, confidence isn’t always easy to come by. If Sam is noticing those side-eyes, others are too. And I’m guessing some might be mocking him as well.

I feel like Sam’s question touches on so much - relationship dynamics, aging gracefully when your significant other has other ideas, confidence vs. compromise. Is there a middle ground here? When do we choose our own comfort over our partner's preferences?

In case you’re wondering, Sam shared a few photos as well. The comb over is not his friend. I suggested that he tell his wife honestly and openly that he’s really unhappy with his comb over and feels unattractive. Either that or he should go for a buzz cut a la Prince William and embrace his chronological age.

While I’ve certainly dressed to please partners over the years, I always stayed true to my own personal style. And I’ve certainly never embraced looks that were intentionally unflattering because my honey thought I should.

So, Sam. If you’re reading this, I think it’s time to hug your wife and wave goodbye to the comb over.

What do you think about a partner choosing unflattering looks for you? Part of me wondered if Mrs. Sam didn’t want him to look attractive to other women (he’d be a hottie without that comb over). Or do you think Sam is a gem to keep his wife happy even at his own expense? Let’s meet in the comments to discuss!

Rachel, Your beauty concierge 💋